Breaking the Rules (Back to Brooklyn) Page 4

  Stepping into the busy Manhattan morning, Adam felt more normal than he had a right to. Carly's simple apartment felt like home to him, and it had nothing to do with the dwelling. It was the knowledge that he'd see her that made it a place filled with comfort. He needed to find a way to convince Carly that they were perfect for one another. If it was meant to be, and God help him he already thought it was, there was no way he was going to let distance ruin their chance at happiness.

  ***

  Carly typically spent her days off running errands. Today, she curled up on the couch and did exactly what Adam had told her not to do. She obsessed. It started with catching up on the journal she had faithfully written in every night for as long as she could remember. Journaling was a mind dump for Carly. It was nothing more than trying to get everything out of her head before going to bed. Today, it was about remembering every detail of her time with Adam before the memories started to fade…before he was gone. It was one more example of how she was morphing into someone she swore she would never become. She was giving up the power over her happiness.

  At lunchtime, she forced herself to get dressed and leave the apartment. She wasn't hungry, but she wasn't going to let Adam give her a hard time about not eating. It was twisted, but she was even going to miss that annoying habit of his. Her throat was so thick with emotion she felt as if she were going to choke on her turkey wrap. She already missed Adam, and he wasn’t even gone yet. She couldn’t remember the last time she had missed anyone like this.

  While she was out, she thought about calling Annie. Normally, one call to her outspoken friend could solve any quandary involving a man. This time, calling Annie would require hiding several key details about the man in question because she wasn't ready for anyone from home to know about whatever it was they were doing. She knew Adam would feel the same way, especially when it came to Annie. She was a dedicated and loyal friend who couldn't help but feed the local rumor mill.

  None of her city friends would understand her dilemma. It pained her to realize that most people she associated with were so shallow that they wouldn't see the problem with dating a friend's sibling. They also wouldn't understand developing any sort of attachment to another person in such a short time. Most of them thought it was pointless to form any emotional connection to other people period. This was one time Carly was going to have to figure things out on her own.

  Carly did the only thing she knew would help clear her mind. She went shopping. A racerback tank dress called to Carly from the window of a small boutique. It had a fun tie-dyed pattern in deep turquoise, white and shades of green. Even on her slight frame, the hem of the dress would be inches above her knees. It was the perfect dress to make sure Adam remembered her when he got on that plane.

  ***

  Carly wanted to make a dramatic first impression for their date. When the sickly intercom bleated to let her know Adam was back, she buzzed him in and quickly retreated to her bedroom locking the door behind her. "Do you always leave your apartment unlocked?" Adam called out as he entered the living area.

  "No, I left it open today because I have a cute boy coming over," she giggled. "Your stuff is in the other room."

  "Need me to clear out before he gets here?" Adam asked, playing along. One more thing to add to the growing list of little things she was going to miss about him. Dammit, there shouldn't even be a list...

  "Might be a good idea," she called through the closed door. "Now, get ready so we can go."

  Rather than waiting for him in the living room, Carly remained sequestered until he knocked on her door. "Did that boy come and sweep you away from me?"

  When she opened the door, Adam was speechless. Mission accomplished. As much as they both loved her pigtails, Carly had opted to allow her hair to fall in soft blonde curls to the middle of her back. The dress stopped just short of mid-thigh, elongating her toned legs. Carly laughed at his reaction. "Are we going or are you going to stand around all night?"

  "Damn," he exclaimed, "You definitely don't look like a little girl tonight."

  She rolled her eyes at the statement. "I haven't been a little girl for a long time. And how in the hell do you get away with calling me a little girl, you're younger than I am," she snapped playfully.

  "That's not what I..." It felt right that he was the one at a loss for words tonight. "Wow," he said grabbing her arm to spin her around, "You look beautiful. This is, by far, the best trip I've had in a long time."

  For a split second, it was easy to think this was her life and Adam was a guy she was seriously attracted to. His comment thrust her back into reality. His presence was temporary and probably always would be. For a brief moment, she thought her Broadway dreams were overrated. A small part of Carly wished she were back home living with her laid-back friends and able to spend time with Adam whenever he was home.

  It was a good thing she hadn't picked a dressier outfit for the night. Adam was once again wearing his ultra-soft, faded jeans paired with a simple white t-shirt and black vest. Proving that he was still as goofy as ever, a pair of bright green Chuck Taylors brought the outfit back to earth.

  Walking down the street, Carly caught their reflection in the window of the local seamstress. She didn't care if the thought that they made a damn awesome looking couple seemed conceited. Well, other than the height difference, but even that was adorable.

  “So, Peanut...” Carly's head whipped in his direction, not expecting him to call her by her childhood nickname. No one had called her that since Pop Turner died when she was sixteen. Adam chuckled, pulling her close to his side. “What do you have planned for us tonight?”

  Adam had made two requests of her before he left for work. She hadn't listened to either one. She had spent most of the day thinking about whether they should entertain the idea of dating each other and she hadn't given any thought to what they could do that evening.

  “Well, I thought...” She needed to come up with something, quick.

  Adam pressed his lips against the top of her head. “Lemme guess, you didn't plan anything because you were busy moping all day?”

  Carly bit the corner of her lip nervously. “Well, uh, maybe?”

  He laughed at the way her response came out sounding more like a question than anything. “And what did I tell you about that? Are you trying to send me home thinking I'm defective and make grown women want to cry?”

  Carly rolled her eyes, sighing. “Whatever. Come on; let's be spontaneous for the night. Have you ever actually been to Times Square?” Carly started walking faster, pulling Adam along the crowded sidewalk. They must have looked ridiculous, with her tiny frame dragging him down the street. She'd been there more times than she could count but never as a tourist. Truly seeing it for the first time with no destination in mind seemed to be the perfect way to spend her evening with Adam.

  Even though Carly's mind had been racing all day with thoughts of what would happen after Adam had to fly home, it was nearly impossible to be in a bad mood once they approached the chaos of Times Square. Adam pulled Carly against his side in the middle of the road, posing them with the electronic billboards as a backdrop, taking a picture of the two of them on their night on the town.

  “You're going to send me a copy of that, right?” Carly wanted that picture on her phone so that she could remember these times when she was lonely.

  Adam tapped his phone a few times and Carly's chimed that she had a new message. “Of course I was going to send it to you. I can't have you forgetting about me, can I?”

  Their first stop was M&M’s World. Adam insisted that they take more goofy pictures with the various characters in the store. “Okay, Peanut. Here's the real test...” He looked at her with a stern expression. Carly didn't understand what he meant and wasn't sure she was ready to hear what he had to say. “What color tastes the best?”

  Carly doubled over with laughter. “No brainer. Green M&M’s are the best.” She watched Adam scan the entire store until he found the tubes of
green candies. He grabbed a bag and filled it with more candies than Carly had ever seen at one time; all of them green.

  “There. Now, when you get all mopey, you'll have chocolate to keep you company.” They headed to toward the register to pay for their treats before heading back out into the street. Carly’s eyes nearly popped out of her head when the cashier gave them their total. Once they were outside, Adam handed the bag to Carly, which she shoved into the patchwork hobo bag she'd chosen for the night.

  “What happens if I run out?” She asked, looking at the bag filled with five pounds of candy. It was a ridiculous question, but she was curious.

  “If you eat all of that before I get back to the city, I think you'll probably wind up sick as a dog, never wanting to eat chocolate again.” Adam tossed his arm around Carly's shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze.

  She pulled him into Toys 'R Us to see the indoor Ferris wheel. Carly had never had a reason to venture into this store before. She didn't have kids; none of her friends had kids, so she had always stayed outside. “Come one, it'll be fun!” Carly squealed, pulling on the sleeve of Adam's shirt. Within a minute of walking inside, Carly was lost to the sensory overload. Even though she was a grown woman, she loved toys, and this was Mecca. She turned to say something to Adam only to realize he wasn't there. She pulled out her phone to text him, knowing there was no way they'd be able to hear one another if she called him.

  Carly: Where did you go?

  Adam: Stay by the entrance, I'll be there in a few.

  Knowing Adam, there was no telling what he was planning. Enjoying the evening, and not feeling the anxiety that had gripped her most of the day, Carly decided to go with the flow. She found a spot beside the door, leaning against the wall waiting for Adam. When he came back, he was holding a bag.

  “Whatcha got?” She asked, trying to pull the bag out of his hand.

  Adam held the bag high over his head, making it impossible for Carly to reach, even when she jumped. “I picked up a Nunya,” he laughed.

  “Nunya?” She asked, raising one eyebrow curiously.

  He nodded, tapping her on the nose with his free hand. “Yep, I picked up one Nunya-damn-business. Come on, let's go.”

  Not knowing what was in the bag was driving Carly out of her mind. She hated secrets, especially when she had a feeling it was something for her. Why else wouldn't he show her what he bought? It was a toy store, not a head shop.

  She tried to object when Adam suggested they sit for a caricature artist. He reminded her that they were tourists tonight, and they had to get the full experience. When she continued to resist, he gave her the option of a caricature or a picture of her with the Naked Cowboy. At that point, sitting along the curb for thirty minutes didn't seem like such a terrible plan. It wasn't a flattering piece of art, but Adam swore he would frame it when he got home.

  It was the best first date in her history of first dates. But was this a date or simply two friends having a terrific time? She decided she would wait to see if he said anything. Carly was not going to be the one to drop an anvil on the intimate mood floating between them.

  There are hundreds of restaurants around Times Square. Out of all of the places he could choose for dinner, Adam pulled her into TGI Fridays. Who does that? Sure, it was a perfect date destination if you were in Wisconsin, but this is freaking New York City, a city with some of the best restaurants in any price range. Setting foot inside a chain restaurant seemed like some sort of crime.

  "Really?" She asked sarcastically while the hostess found an empty table. "Fridays?"

  "Oh, I'm sorry, is this beneath you now?" Adam asked. She might have been upset, but he flashed her that goofy, crooked smile. She decided that he could have taken her to Taco Bell, and it would have been perfect as long as he looked at her that way.

  "You don't get to pick next time," she said poking him in the chest.

  Adam cocked his head and looked down at her, "Next time?" Carly regretted her choice of words. By this time tomorrow night, Adam would be on a plane headed back to Wisconsin. There was no guarantee of anything beyond tonight.

  "I mean..." What did she mean? There had to be a way to backpedal out of this one.

  Just when she thought she had effectively killed their evening, Adam bent over and kissed the top of her head, "You're cute when you're flustered. So, you want there to be a next time?"

  Saved by the hostess, Carly had time to figure out what she wanted to say as they walked to a table near the window. Once seated, Carly stared out the window avoiding eye contact with the beautiful man sitting across the table from her. She had no clue what she wanted from him. What if he didn't want what she wanted? How could either of them know? She cursed life for being so complicated.

  "Hey," he said wrapping his hands around her delicate fingers. "What's going on with you? We were having a fantastic time, and now you're..." he waved a hand in her direction, "I told you you're going to give me a complex if you keep getting like this."

  While they waited for their meals, Carly continued to stare out the window trying to compose herself. Adam released one of her hands and grazed her cheek. "Carly, talk to me," he pleaded.

  She still couldn't look at him. "What do you want?" Carly asked. The words came out more clipped than she intended. She was frustrated and depressed because she didn’t want to admit to herself how attached she was. Adam made it easy to see a future with him, not filled with casual friendships and lonely nights. It was completely unhealthy to react like this over a man she'd been getting to know for less than a week. She didn't know how long she should be with someone before she could consider these feelings rational, but it was much longer than a week. The fact that she'd technically known him most of her life didn't matter; Adam as an adult was someone entirely new and intriguing.

  "Excuse me?" Adam's face twisted in confusion.

  Carly shook her head, dismissing the question. It was stupid to ask. If he said he wanted a relationship with her, that would be awkward given their long history together, not to mention the many states separating them much of the time. If he said this was nothing more than two friends hanging out, Carly would feel like a fool for thinking anything more could ever come. It might not be what she was looking for right now, but there was something crushing about the thought of there being no chance.

  Reaching for her hands again, the expression on Adam's face turned to genuine concern. "Carly, talk to me. I need a little context here."

  "What do you want with this?" she sighed, waving a hand between them.

  Adam took a few deep breaths before responding. "I don't know what I want. I can't ask you for an exclusive relationship. It's not fair since I never know when I'm going to be here. You deserve a man who can kiss you every morning when you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep. I can’t be that man right now." He tucked a finger under her chin to bring her eyes to his. "But I know what I don't want. No matter how we leave things, I don't want to see you look like this ever again. I don't want you to be upset. And I hate the fact that you're upset because of me."

  The sincerity in his words shocked Carly. She never expected him to bring the word relationship into the conversation. Granted, he wasn't offering her one and didn't specifically say he wanted one, but he mentioned it. What did that mean?

  "I'm not upset because of you," she said trying to pull herself out of her mood. "I guess...it's just... You weren't something I expected," she whispered. "You walked through the stage door last week, and I feel like I've been living in the eye of a hurricane ever since. I'm waiting to get thrown out into the storm."

  "I'm going to ask you now," he said softly, "What do you want? If you tell me that you want me to get on that plane tomorrow and forget your number, I will if that will be easiest for you. If you want to stay friends, I'm cool with that too." Carly flinched at the word 'friends'. She could lie to herself and say that was enough, but it wasn’t. It was the first time she could see herself giving her heart to someone
and that scared the hell out of her. Even worse, she was afraid that she already had given him her heart without realizing it. Adam continued, "You just need to tell me what this is to you."

  While Carly tried to formulate an answer, the server returned with their meals. She pushed a piece of squash from one side of her plate to the other and back again over and over, avoiding eye contact. Every bite of smothered chicken she placed in her mouth caught in the tightness of her throat. Without finishing a third of her dinner, she placed a napkin over her food and pushed the plate aside.

  Adam asked again where she saw them going as they waited for the check. When Carly didn't answer his question, he didn't push. She could tell by looking in his eyes that he was just as conflicted as she was. They weren't the brilliant blue they had been this morning. They were a dull gray tonight.

  In a punk move, Carly decided to answer him as they walked through the crowded restaurant toward the exit. "I want this," she said quietly. The thought of saying it while she had his undivided attention intimidated her.

  "What was that?" Adam stopped in the middle of the aisle, and a server carrying a large tray filled with food nearly mowed him down. Carly had to pull Adam out of the way before they caused a scene in the packed restaurant.

  She wasn't ready to say it again, so she nodded towards the door. Once they were outside, Carly wrapped her arms around Adam resting her head against his chest. "I don't know..."

  Carly realized she was becoming everything she hated in most of her female friends. She felt weak. She was being manipulative. Most of the time, she lacked any sort of filter that would stop her feelings from spewing out of her mouth. Until Adam.

  Carly took a deep breath, "I want to see what happens," she said. The light returned to Adam's eyes at her hopeful words. She was going to get what she wanted. "But there's one condition."

  "A condition?" Adam repeated. He kissed the top of her head again as he held her, "Name it."